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Post by wheels128 on Nov 10, 2006 1:21:35 GMT -5
BloodRayne (2005) Directed by the hilarious Uwe Boll Starring Michael Madsen, Kristanna Loken, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, Michelle Rodriguez, Udo Kier and Meat Loaf
Note: I've counted everyone who loses a large amount of blood from a vampire bite, or turns dark gray and looks like a seven-day old corpse as "eaten". Remove these from the count if it's not appropriate. Also, I don't know why this film is in the IMDB bottom 100; it's comfortably better than Alone In The Dark in every area, which in turn is comfortably better than House Of The Dead in every area. And I've seen 100 worse action or horror films than House Of The Dead.
By scene Absinthe: 1 (1 stabbed) Rampage: 4 (2 stabbed, 2 eaten, 4 by Loken) She is my friend: 1 (1 stabbed, 1 by Rodriguez) I will not harm you: 2 (2 stabbed, 2 by Loken) Market: 1 (1 eaten, 1 by Loken) Splattered: 1 (1 facesmashed, 1 by Loken) Monastery: 30 (25 stabbed, 4 arrowed, 1 fallen, 6 by Loken, 3 by Madsen, 6 by Rodriguez) Leonid: 14 (7 stabbed, 3 bodies, 3 arrowed, 1 burnt, 3 by Madsen) I will find her: 1 (1 stabbed, 1 by Kingsley) Will you stop throwing things at me: 1 (1 severed head) Brimstone I: 2 (2 stabbed, 1 by Rodriguez) Brimstone II: 25 (24 bodies, 1 arrowed)* Heart: 1 (1 neck broken, 1 by Loken) One way in: 2 (2 stabbed) Ceremony: 16 (15 stabbed, 1 arrowed, 2 by Madsen, 4 by Loken, 1 by Kingsley)
Body counts Total: 102 Madsen: 8 Loken: 19 Rodriguez: 8 Kingsley: 2
By kill type Stabbed: 58 Bodies (most of whom would've been stabbed): 27 Arrowed: 9 Neck broken: 1 Severed head: 1 Eaten: 3 Facesmashed: 1 Fallen: 1 Burnt: 1
Pages Uwe Boll MUST have one, or I quit doing counts for this site (blackmail and empty threats are my specialty). House Of The Dead's got a huge count, and he seems to make deathfests with a few well known actors. Also Madsen, Loken and Rodriguez need pages, they've all got kills in multiple other films.
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Post by davethejew on Nov 10, 2006 1:27:19 GMT -5
I could sit through House Of The Dead, just for all its in jokes, and i love zombie movies and cheesy bulletime. I hated BloodRayne however.
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Post by JenGe on Nov 10, 2006 11:52:12 GMT -5
PagesUwe Boll MUST have one, or I quit doing counts for this site (blackmail and empty threats are my specialty). Bahahahah!! As if I could get rid of you so easily. Of course we will have Boll. He makes films doesn't he? I honestly do not think that he is as bad as people make him out to be. Frankly I enjoyed Alone in the Dark. Great film... no but still entertaining. (It even has an admitted homage to Equilibrium.) I don't have silly biases against Directors for making what other people think are "bad" films. Even if Joel Schumacher put nipples on the batsuit...I don't fuckin' care. Let the man make movies. Flatliners, Lost Boys, Falling Down, Tigerland are some of the best films ever made in my opinion. Boll will have his day as well. Younger, newer directors should never be judged by industry standards. They are but trying to make a name for themselves and learning with each film they make.
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Wraith
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Post by Wraith on Nov 10, 2006 12:28:47 GMT -5
I did see Alone in the Dark. Pretty bad, but I think Boll is overrated as a bad director. It's not like his movies are much worse than the average Paul WS Anderson film.
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Post by JenGe on Nov 10, 2006 12:42:16 GMT -5
I did see Alone in the Dark. Pretty bad, but I think Boll is overrated as a bad director. It's not like his movies are much worse than the average Paul WS Anderson film. Worse films in my opinion from 2005 than Alone in the Dark...& from directors/studios that should have done better... The Pacifier Sahara Bewitched The Legend of Zorro I'm sure there are more that I did not bother to see.
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ronnoc
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Post by ronnoc on Nov 10, 2006 12:59:58 GMT -5
There are worst directors, but they didn't take classic video games, and muttilate them. Also, he whines about how everyone hates him. The boxing thing was pretty funny though, I especaly liked Rich Kyanka bitching about Uwe cheating.
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Wraith
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Post by Wraith on Nov 10, 2006 16:09:30 GMT -5
He did cheat though. He let on like it was a publicity stunt, selected critics who wouldn't win, and then beat the hell out of them. The guy not only has no talent, he seems like a complete dick too. Maybe that's why he's so hated.
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Post by davethejew on Nov 10, 2006 16:11:00 GMT -5
I did see Alone in the Dark. Pretty bad, but I think Boll is overrated as a bad director. It's not like his movies are much worse than the average Paul WS Anderson film. Paul WS Anderson has had pretty decent movies, Shopping and Event Horizon were his masterpieces, and both Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil were watchable, i couldnt even sit through Alone In The Dark or Bloodrayne. Also Jen, did you actually sit through Sahara? I felt Sahara was pretty much the closest thing to a modern Indiana Jones movie, we need more movies like that recently. It was pure cheese, but it was enjoyable and fun to watch, i hope they make more movies based after Dirk's adventures.
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Post by JenGe on Nov 10, 2006 17:40:05 GMT -5
Also Jen, did you actually sit through Sahara? I felt Sahara was pretty much the closest thing to a modern Indiana Jones movie, we need more movies like that recently. Yes, I did and I hated it (& there are very few films I "hate"). The marketing on that one sold us a pack of lies. They sold it as a modern Indiana Jones flick but it really was political commentary not a "cheese", enjoyable, action, adventure. Romancing the Stone is the closest thing to a modern Indiana Jones film. I agree we need more films like that but to slather it in political commentary is not the way to go. The Transporter was the same for me as well. Great opening....lost it when they took the political "save the people", apologetic "I'm-sorry-we're-doing-an-action-flick-so-let's throw-some-social-relevance-in" Hollywood route.. Excellent foreplay but no orgasm. Other recent flicks I've "Hated..." War of the Worlds King Kong Lost in Translation Sideways Runaway Jury 10 Things I Hate About You Miami Vice (sadly one of my favorite directors) Most directors have these though even my all time favorite director Ridley Scott. I hate Legend. In my opinion one of the worst fantasy flicks ever made.
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ronnoc
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Post by ronnoc on Nov 10, 2006 17:59:18 GMT -5
Also Jen, did you actually sit through Sahara? I felt Sahara was pretty much the closest thing to a modern Indiana Jones movie, we need more movies like that recently. Yes, I did and I hated it (& there are very few films I "hate"). The marketing on that one sold us a pack of lies. They sold it as a modern Indiana Jones flick but it really was political commentary not a "cheese", enjoyable, action, adventure. Romancing the Stone is the closest thing to a modern Indiana Jones film. I agree we need more films like that but to slather it in political commentary is not the way to go. The Transporter was the same for me sa well. Great opening....lost it when they took the political "save the people", apologetic "I'm-sorry-we're-doing-an-action-flick-so-let's throw-some-social-relevance-in" Hollywood route.. Excellent foreplay but no orgasm. Other recent flicks I've "Hated..." War of the Worlds King Kong Lost in Translation Sideways Runaway Jury 10 Things I Hate About You Miami Vice (sadly one of my favorite directors) Yay, another person who sees War of the Worlds for the crap it was!
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Post by JenGe on Nov 10, 2006 18:06:59 GMT -5
Yay, another person who sees War of the Worlds for the crap it was! The truth of the matter, I dislike most Spielberg films. I got to see ET back in 1982 at a prescreening, weeks before it was released and hated it but knew that the general public would absolutely adore it. It was nothing really more than a Disney flick that people would accept because his name was attached. Most of his films do nothing at all for me. I don't count Indiana Jones because it really is a Lucas/Spielberg high-bred. I was soo disappointed in Minority Report. There was sooooo much in there that really did not need to be that I just had to read Dick's short story to make sure. I was right. Now I will say this though. There are two films by Spielberg that I do absolute unequivocally love (not counting Indy)...Duel & Munich.
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Post by wheels128 on Nov 11, 2006 1:38:18 GMT -5
The problem with Uwe Boll films is that all he aspires to do is merge video games with B-movies. Thus, he manages to select the worst of bad worlds, and comes out with movies that have a bad script, no character development, a flimsy plot, cheesy camerawork, and a serious suspension of disbelief is required just to watch them. They are still entertaining films though - I've watched House Of The Dead three times (body count coming really soon), BloodRayne three times and I plan on buying every film he ever makes. Why?
Boll's films are well-paced, enjoyable crap, and they never get bogged down in slow patches. You laugh at it as opposed to cringing because of it, and for that reason I'll always pick a Boll film over anything tagged "Drama", "Western", "Comedy" or "Independent".
The reason everyone hates Uwe Boll is he takes video games, makes them even more mindless, and then removes the fun of giving the player control over what happens. Also,
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Wraith
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Post by Wraith on Nov 11, 2006 11:01:31 GMT -5
Yay, another person who sees War of the Worlds for the crap it was! The truth of the matter, I dislike most Spielberg films. I got to see ET back in 1982 at a prescreening, weeks before it was released and hated it but knew that the general public would absolutely adore it. It was nothing really more than a Disney flick that people would accept because his name was attached. Most of his films do nothing at all for me. I don't count Indiana Jones because it really is a Lucas/Spielberg high-bred. I was soo disappointed in Minority Report. There was sooooo much in there that really did not need to be that I just had to read Dick's short story to make sure. I was right. Now I will say this though. There are two films by Spielberg that I do absolute unequivocally love (not counting Indy)...Duel & Munich. Spielberg's hit or miss. I think sometimes Spielberg has a tendency to make a really good film and then mess up the ending (eg: War of the Worlds, Minority Report, Munich). I also didn't like ET, I thought it was a ball of fluff, but I like a lot of Disney films so Ithink it's unfair to compare the two. I haven't really seen AI, but I've heard nothing good. He can sometimes become fixated on actors that aren't that good (Haley Joel Osmondt, Tom Cruise) On the other hand, Indy, Schindler's List, and Saving Private Ryan are masterpieces. And I like a lot of the cartoons he produced in the 90s.
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Post by JenGe on Nov 11, 2006 12:15:54 GMT -5
And I like a lot of the cartoons he produced in the 90s. Agreed.
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Post by Ankhareon on Nov 22, 2006 3:34:58 GMT -5
I've only seen Boll's House of the Dead and it was one of those films that was so bad it was funny. I can't hate films like that. The only problem I have with his films is that they stray from the original games.
Steven Spielberg however is brilliant. I haven't seen one of his films that I didn't like (War of the worlds was not his best though).
Also which King Kong did you hate JenGe? Ive only seen the first and latest and liked them both
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ronnoc
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Post by ronnoc on Nov 23, 2006 1:18:55 GMT -5
The problem with Uwe Boll films is that all he aspires to do is merge video games with B-movies. Thus, he manages to select the worst of bad worlds, and comes out with movies that have a bad script, no character development, a flimsy plot, cheesy camerawork, and a serious suspension of disbelief is required just to watch them. They are still entertaining films though - I've watched House Of The Dead three times (body count coming really soon), BloodRayne three times and I plan on buying every film he ever makes. Why? Boll's films are well-paced, enjoyable crap, and they never get bogged down in slow patches. You laugh at it as opposed to cringing because of it, and for that reason I'll always pick a Boll film over anything tagged "Drama", "Western", "Comedy" or "Independent". The reason everyone hates Uwe Boll is he takes video games, makes them even more mindless, and then removes the fun of giving the player control over what happens. Also, Ahhh! My gamer sense is going wild! 'select the worst of bad worlds'? House of the Dead, BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark? The worst of a bad world!? More than five angry faces are being made at you.
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Post by JenGe on Mar 17, 2008 13:36:01 GMT -5
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